Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Thrash: the big motivator

I am terrible at doing house work, both inside and outside of my humble dwelling. Dishes, dusting, repairs, sweeping, watering the grass, raking leaves, etc. etc., etc. I hate it all.

Yes, I am lazy and more than a bit disorganized.

However, once one gets married, that sort of "lifestyle" simply does not fly - at least with those who have any sort of self respect (of which I have only a pinch). Most folks enjoy living in a clean environment. It's hard to imagine, but most people don't like to trip over stacks of comic boxes trying to get to the laundry room, or shift through hundreds of loose DVDs and CDs to find their treasured copy of As Good As It Gets or Meet the Feebles.

So if I wanted to get (and stay) married, I needed to find motivation in keeping things tidy. Sure, threats of divorce might make for great motivation to stay on task, but what I was looking for was motivation to keep me in task. Something to keep my mind off of cleaning out the car while performing the tedious exercise.

Some people like to talk, gab and gossip while working. Not me. Having someone there to talk to is no good since I am most likely in a foul mood and all I would want to do is get done with the job at hand. No, the only thing that helps me move along in my household chores is nothing other than good ol' thrash metal blasting in the background.

Yes, it has to be thrash metal. Although I like a variety of music, thrash is blessed with those rolling e-string gallops and persistent drums. Thrash IS movement - thus, making ME move my butt into high gear.

Now I have to mention that in addition to talking, most people also like to have others chip in and lend a hand to help the chores go faster. Again, not me. The problem is that most other people do not like thrash and make the mistake in thinking that ANY music will do. So the radio is turned on, blaring out the mediocrity of whatever crap is playing on the top 40, and placing my mind directly back to where I do not want it to be: the work. Argh!

So if I have to face cleaning out the gutters, fixing a plumbing problem, painting a room, or whatever, just leave me alone with my MP3 player and I'll get it done ASAP.

Here are a few of my personal thrash favorites for different tasks:

Dishes: Anthrax - Among the Living, Vio-lence - Eternal Nightmare, Dr. Livingdead - Thrashing the Law, Exploited - Beat the Bastards

House repairs: Essence - Lost in Violence, Metallica - Master of Puppets, Testament - Practice What You Preach

Cleaning the car: Kreator - Hordes of Chaos, Slayer - Season in the Abyss, Sepultura - Arise, Sworn Amongst - Severance

Painting a room: Suicidal Tendencies - How Will I Laugh Tomorrow…, Megadeth - Rust in Peace, Demiricous - One

Mopping: Municipal Waste - The Art of Partying, Slayer - South of Heaven, Lich King - World Gone Dead

Raking leaves: Bio-Cancer - Ear Piercing Thrash (demo), Toxik Society - Living Kufeso (demo), Devastation - Idolatry

Folding laundry: Watching Get Thrashed or Sepultura - Live in Barcelona on dvd.

Now, the only chore I cannot accomplish while listening to thrash is mowing the freaking lawn. I can't hear the music over the motor. The only way I can get through this dreary task without the aid of pure metal is to chalk it up to getting real exercise, which I also hate. When I have to exercise, I need to listen to thrash to keep me moving, so you can see my dilemma with grass-cutting.

Last thing: This summer I am going to remodel the bathroom. I REALLY hate remodeling. For that project I might have to move my work playlist up a notch to death metal.

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